hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
