I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
