I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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