Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Someone came in the potted fern
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
