He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
