I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
