I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
