You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
