What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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