You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
