OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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