I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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