ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
