i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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