Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
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