i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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