He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
