They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
