I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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