You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
