are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
