Christians are straight up FREAKS
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
