Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
what the fuck happened to the tacos
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
