I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.