I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT