so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
