then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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