it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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