Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
