the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
