if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
