we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
