so explain again why im purple
no
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
