what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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