i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize