We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
