Already got asked if we're dating
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize