I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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