There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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