grandma shit on top of the toilet
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
