and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Green mimosas i think yes
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
