After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
