I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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