ya dads aren't the best wingmen
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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