That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
