so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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