you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
