Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
