Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
