i jhust puked up my retainher.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
