He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
