fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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