btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
