thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm like, not good at living.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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