Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
