maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
