Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
