I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
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