Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
