if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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