Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
