dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
