I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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