how can u be prego again
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
