But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
