Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
