he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
